She's not lazy. She's exhausted.
For parents of girls who know something is wrong, but keep being told she's fine.
No referral needed. No waiting list.
Why girls are missed
Girls with ADHD and autism are missed in enormous numbers. Not because the signs are not there, but because the signs look different in girls, and the system was not built to look for them.
A girl with inattentive ADHD is often the quietest, most conscientious child in the class. She sits still. She gets her work in. She never causes trouble. She also comes home every day and falls apart, because holding herself together has taken everything she has.
An autistic girl, particularly in primary school, may be managing well enough that no professional raises a concern. Autistic girls are significantly better at masking than autistic boys, performing social behaviour and suppressing the signs that would trigger a referral. The performance is convincing. The exhaustion behind it is invisible.
Up to 75% of women with ADHD are not diagnosed until adulthood. The typical delay between first symptoms and diagnosis for autistic girls is years longer than for boys. The consequences of that delay, years of a child believing she is the problem, are significant and largely preventable.
If you have been watching your daughter struggle and being told she is fine, you are not imagining it.
Read our guide to inattentive ADHD in girls for a detailed look at what to watch for, why school often misses it, and how to get an assessment in the UK.
If your daughter is in Year 6
Secondary school is the highest-risk transition point for girls with unidentified ADHD and autism. The familiar structure of primary school has been what made the masking possible. Secondary school removes it. New building, seven teachers, hundreds of children, complex social demands. For a girl who has been performing neurotypicality through sheer effort, this is the point where the performance becomes impossible.
Research from the Autistic Girls Network found that only 3 out of 17 autistic girls had a successful secondary school transition. This does not have to be your daughter's story. But it requires acting now, not after September.
An assessment begun this month has a realistic chance of completing before the end of the summer term. That gives you an assessment report, a diagnosis if appropriate, and a legal framework for the support her new school is required to provide.
Assessment timelines
- Private ADHD assessment: typically 2 to 6 weeks, costs £500 to £1,500
- Private autism assessment (multidisciplinary): typically 2 to 3 months, costs £2,000 to £4,700
Both types of private assessment report are accepted by the vast majority of schools and local authorities.
How ChildWize can help
ChildWize connects families with vetted specialists who can assess, diagnose, and support girls with ADHD and autism. Every specialist on the platform is DBS-checked, professionally registered, and verified by the ChildWize team.
You can browse by specialism, read specialist profiles, and book a free 15-minute initial call to find the right fit before committing to anything. No GP referral. No waiting list. No form that sits in a system for 18 months.
Common questions
Do I need a GP referral to book a private ADHD or autism assessment?
No. Private assessment through ChildWize does not require a GP referral. You can book directly with a vetted assessor and begin the process without going through your GP or waiting for an NHS referral.
Will a private assessment report be accepted by schools and local authorities?
Yes, in the vast majority of cases. Private ADHD and autism assessment reports from registered professionals are accepted by schools and local authorities when applying for EHCP support, exam access arrangements, and specialist provision.
How long does a private assessment take?
A private ADHD assessment for children typically completes within 2 to 6 weeks. A multidisciplinary autism assessment typically takes 2 to 3 months. Both timelines are significantly shorter than the current NHS wait, which in many areas exceeds 2 years.
My daughter does well at school. Could she still have ADHD or autism?
Yes. Girls with inattentive ADHD and autistic girls who mask well often present as capable, conscientious students. Academic performance is not a reliable indicator. The signs show up at home, in emotional regulation after school, in the effort it takes just to get through the day. Many girls are not identified until secondary school, or adulthood, precisely because they appear fine in the classroom.
Find a specialist today
Browse ADHD assessors, autism assessors, and educational psychologists who specialise in girls and adolescents. Book a free 15-minute call to start the conversation.